Tuesday, June 03, 2003
I'm singing for a funeral tomorrow. Its no one I knew, but Mallory was pretty close to him. Her Uncle lived with their family while she was little and died just reciently while going through detox. Somehow the fact that he was headed in the right direction makes his death worse. I am pretty sure he didn't have Jesus either. her whole family is at her house right now. I went over earlier and there were stories being told and pizza being eaten. The cooked-for-you food and the re-telling of things past reminded me of when Matt died. Now the song I am singing is bringing back much more. I hurt for their family and wish I could do more, but ofcourse, I can't. "In your weakness I make you strong." Yeah God, but WHY do I have to feel so powerless? Uncertianty I'm guessing is the theme I'm supposed to be learning about right now because it seems like so much around me is. I'd like to think I have it all together but in reality I'm just a confused little girl trying to look grown up. I'd rather just be myself and watch God work out everything for me.
The weather here has been terrible. I found the 11th commandment in my note book the other day. It declares: "Thou shalt not snow in April." I think it needs to be amended to read: "Thou shalt not haveth any temperatures undereth 50 in June." Today was pretty good - but I was stuck inside which makes it bad. Right now I'm looking at colleges to attend in the next year or so. I want to go to a BIBLE school - but no one has a science program that's any good. I think I'll change my major to aviation. How amazing would that be? To go to school and learn how to fly. I still have the scholarship money available to me. Kat is having an instructor come out to Mt Pocono to give her lessons, maybe he will feel like staying a bit longer to teach me too. Coming up for two students is better than only one right?
I need some SLEEP (not like I didn't get enough of it yesterday or anything) I'll type again - I PROMISE
InHisGrip,
::the song I'm singing::
"Who's the navagator of your desteny? Where is the dealer of this hand? Who can explain life and its brevity? 'Cause there is nothing here I can understand. You and I have barely met and I just don't want to let go of you yet."
"Matthew, Hello-Goodbye, I'll see you on the other side, Matthew, good friend of mine, I'll see you on the other side."
"And so I hold your memory close to me, for the hardest thing I've ever had to face. Heaven calls for you, before it calls for me. When you get there, save me a place. A place where I can share your smile, and I can hold you for more than just a while."
The weather here has been terrible. I found the 11th commandment in my note book the other day. It declares: "Thou shalt not snow in April." I think it needs to be amended to read: "Thou shalt not haveth any temperatures undereth 50 in June." Today was pretty good - but I was stuck inside which makes it bad. Right now I'm looking at colleges to attend in the next year or so. I want to go to a BIBLE school - but no one has a science program that's any good. I think I'll change my major to aviation. How amazing would that be? To go to school and learn how to fly. I still have the scholarship money available to me. Kat is having an instructor come out to Mt Pocono to give her lessons, maybe he will feel like staying a bit longer to teach me too. Coming up for two students is better than only one right?
I need some SLEEP (not like I didn't get enough of it yesterday or anything) I'll type again - I PROMISE
InHisGrip,
::the song I'm singing::
"Who's the navagator of your desteny? Where is the dealer of this hand? Who can explain life and its brevity? 'Cause there is nothing here I can understand. You and I have barely met and I just don't want to let go of you yet."
"Matthew, Hello-Goodbye, I'll see you on the other side, Matthew, good friend of mine, I'll see you on the other side."
"And so I hold your memory close to me, for the hardest thing I've ever had to face. Heaven calls for you, before it calls for me. When you get there, save me a place. A place where I can share your smile, and I can hold you for more than just a while."
Chicklette 1:00 AM
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